"Sometimes we sense God's hidden power, but we feel it as fear and we contract. But there is nothing in God to inspire fear. Fear is only the label we put on our own awe, and perhaps bewilderment, when we sense God's power, a power we cannot possibly comprehend, and we fear losing control."
Control has been called as the master addiction. We may try and control out of fear of being hurt or not being loved in some way.
The paradox is that if we surrender to the present moment we have access to deep loving and grace.
May you surrender to the awe and beauty that is in the present moment and is the core of who you are.